Family

Having the family get together is so precious since as we get older it happens less and less.

August 6, 2012 Lemonade out of Lemons Well it was a pretty tough few weeks for me. Had to have surgery, with some complications. But on the up side, the nurses were fantastic in the hospital, I got to be on the maternity ward and the babies were right across the hall. What I found so interesting about this is here I am on a floor where new life is happening everyday, many times a day and I am there to have a hysterectomy, to end,once and for all, the part of my life that had anything to do with bearing children. Now I could have gone to that pity party place, that I did so often in the past when I found out I couldn't have kids. That place that is woe is me, I don't have children of my own, I won't have grandbabies of my own and who will change my diapers in the old people's home? And for the first time I didn't have to go to that place. The reason is, I have made a life with my husband that I would not have made had we been able to have children. We took the cards we were dealt and won the card game. Why? Its like the old saying "making lemonade out of lemons". We made the effort to be involved in the lives of children. Our neices and nephews, we were adopted auntie and uncle to many kids over the years. Our neighbors kids. We were able to be a part of children's lives in the way you cannot always do when you have your own children. The fact that other people let us be a part of their kids lives was a blessing in itself. Now are entering another stage in life and our friends are having grandkids, I am fortunate enough to have a young friend who just had a baby and has included me in on so many wonderful events seeing her baby develop. It is wonderful holding that soft baby skin next to you and doing things that make the baby laugh and laugh..Lemonade out of Lemons, its pretty simple.

Are you asking for my opinion?

Something a wise woman told me once. When talking with people we automatically assume they want our opinion when they express a problem they are working through
and seem to us to need help. This wise woman told me, "instead of giving your opinion, ask the person". Another words, say to the person "are you asking for my opinion", that gives you an opening to express yourself, to open the door to giving your opinion. Many time when people are telling a story about what is going in their lives they really don't want our opinion, they just want to tell their story. And often they get resentful if you start giving your opinion when it is not asked for.

I have been experimenting with this and it really helps open up communication with
people. Give it a try. It can't hurt! Have a great weekend.

Being a friend intimes of trouble

Another one of our friends has lost her job at the company my husband used to
work for. He left when the first round of packages were offered a few years ago. We were told it only gets worse and unfortunately it has. Now, more than ever it is important to be there for our friends in this position. These folks need encouragement, to know they are not alone and of course any contacts for future employment that all of us can come up with.

I cannot even imagine what the younger people must think of all this. But we oldsters must show them with support from friends and family, and the ability to reinvent yourself makes it possible to open a new door and leave the past behind. Praying for our dear friend and for all those who have lost their jobs in recent weeks, months and years. Praying that we can all reinvent ourselves and that this reinvention will bring new joy and hope and love in a career we can enjoy and not get bogged in what happened yesterday but look forward to today and all the great tomorrows that will happen as we change and grow and begin a new life.

My Favorite Things

Today is the day I start my journey giving up what I would call my favorite foods.

You know, the ones that are the "feel good" foods, pretzels, chocolate, crunchy saturated fat high carb foods. Oh and cheerios..Honey Nut to be exact because I pig out on those babies so easy. The dogs will miss them too. However I am keeping some of my favorite things like fruit. Beautiful apples, oranges, pinapple they are staying....

And I am keeping my carrots, don't take away my carrots or I'll go nuts. And no one but no one ask me out for icecream!!

A knock at the Door

Okay, I admit it I didn't clean out the kitchen cabinet and throw away the junk. But I know I will in the next 24 hours. I gave myself permission tohave one day of pity party moments. Like looking at the stuff on the counter in the kitchen and instead of being my neurotic self and saying I need to clean that right now..I just walked away and said..he will be here in the morning and I will take care of it. One day of sloppiness makes me feel a little defiant for some reason...

So I curled up with a good book on the couch and some classic movies and fell asleep. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and it was my sister who is moving. She came over to see how I was doing because she knows I was sad about her leaving. This is big for us. Really big. For her to recognize my feelings and react. And something else happened. I never cry in front of her. I cried and told her I was going to miss her and she gave me a hug. It was a very poignant moment for both of us. We don't display that kind of affection. It was, well enlightening and encouraging. A knock at the door, brought another changing moment. It is all good.

Change is Constant

So yesterday my sister told me she is moving to Arizona. That is great for her because my other sister and mom and cousins live there. It is sad for me as it is my last immediate family member (besides my nephew) to leave Chicago. I am happy for her because this is what she wants. But it has brought all kinds of mixed emotions about change, not having family around, feeling abandon in some weird way.

I mean it is nice to be able to call your sister up and say "hey meet me for coffee" or "you want to go shopping" or "come on over I'll make dinner". Just knowing there is someone there who has a history with you. No one can take the place of your family. I mean we all have good friends that are wonderful. I don't know if this is just me or if other people do feel this way. But I like knowing my family lives in the same state. Of course they are all in closer proximity when we are in California. But it is a loss and an ending of an era to me.

Initially I wanted to curl up and stay in bad and have a pity party today. But of course my dogs won't let me do that and neither will my husband. Actually it is a perfect day for a pity party, overcast, looks like it will rain...a great day to stick your head under the covers.

But instead, I'll probably clean out a kitchen cabinet and get rid of all those bad carbs I have loaded up on this week for some unknown reason. The half bag of doritos, chips, and chocolated covered pretzels need to go bye bye. I would rather have them go than my sister.