Something a wise woman told me once. When talking with people we automatically assume they want our opinion when they express a problem they are working through
and seem to us to need help. This wise woman told me, "instead of giving your opinion, ask the person". Another words, say to the person "are you asking for my opinion", that gives you an opening to express yourself, to open the door to giving your opinion. Many time when people are telling a story about what is going in their lives they really don't want our opinion, they just want to tell their story. And often they get resentful if you start giving your opinion when it is not asked for.
I have been experimenting with this and it really helps open up communication with
people. Give it a try. It can't hurt! Have a great weekend.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Being a friend intimes of trouble
Another one of our friends has lost her job at the company my husband used to
work for. He left when the first round of packages were offered a few years ago. We were told it only gets worse and unfortunately it has. Now, more than ever it is important to be there for our friends in this position. These folks need encouragement, to know they are not alone and of course any contacts for future employment that all of us can come up with.
I cannot even imagine what the younger people must think of all this. But we oldsters must show them with support from friends and family, and the ability to reinvent yourself makes it possible to open a new door and leave the past behind. Praying for our dear friend and for all those who have lost their jobs in recent weeks, months and years. Praying that we can all reinvent ourselves and that this reinvention will bring new joy and hope and love in a career we can enjoy and not get bogged in what happened yesterday but look forward to today and all the great tomorrows that will happen as we change and grow and begin a new life.
work for. He left when the first round of packages were offered a few years ago. We were told it only gets worse and unfortunately it has. Now, more than ever it is important to be there for our friends in this position. These folks need encouragement, to know they are not alone and of course any contacts for future employment that all of us can come up with.
I cannot even imagine what the younger people must think of all this. But we oldsters must show them with support from friends and family, and the ability to reinvent yourself makes it possible to open a new door and leave the past behind. Praying for our dear friend and for all those who have lost their jobs in recent weeks, months and years. Praying that we can all reinvent ourselves and that this reinvention will bring new joy and hope and love in a career we can enjoy and not get bogged in what happened yesterday but look forward to today and all the great tomorrows that will happen as we change and grow and begin a new life.
My Favorite Things
Today is the day I start my journey giving up what I would call my favorite foods.
You know, the ones that are the "feel good" foods, pretzels, chocolate, crunchy saturated fat high carb foods. Oh and cheerios..Honey Nut to be exact because I pig out on those babies so easy. The dogs will miss them too. However I am keeping some of my favorite things like fruit. Beautiful apples, oranges, pinapple they are staying....
And I am keeping my carrots, don't take away my carrots or I'll go nuts. And no one but no one ask me out for icecream!!
You know, the ones that are the "feel good" foods, pretzels, chocolate, crunchy saturated fat high carb foods. Oh and cheerios..Honey Nut to be exact because I pig out on those babies so easy. The dogs will miss them too. However I am keeping some of my favorite things like fruit. Beautiful apples, oranges, pinapple they are staying....
And I am keeping my carrots, don't take away my carrots or I'll go nuts. And no one but no one ask me out for icecream!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A knock at the Door
Okay, I admit it I didn't clean out the kitchen cabinet and throw away the junk. But I know I will in the next 24 hours. I gave myself permission tohave one day of pity party moments. Like looking at the stuff on the counter in the kitchen and instead of being my neurotic self and saying I need to clean that right now..I just walked away and said..he will be here in the morning and I will take care of it. One day of sloppiness makes me feel a little defiant for some reason...
So I curled up with a good book on the couch and some classic movies and fell asleep. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and it was my sister who is moving. She came over to see how I was doing because she knows I was sad about her leaving. This is big for us. Really big. For her to recognize my feelings and react. And something else happened. I never cry in front of her. I cried and told her I was going to miss her and she gave me a hug. It was a very poignant moment for both of us. We don't display that kind of affection. It was, well enlightening and encouraging. A knock at the door, brought another changing moment. It is all good.
So I curled up with a good book on the couch and some classic movies and fell asleep. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and it was my sister who is moving. She came over to see how I was doing because she knows I was sad about her leaving. This is big for us. Really big. For her to recognize my feelings and react. And something else happened. I never cry in front of her. I cried and told her I was going to miss her and she gave me a hug. It was a very poignant moment for both of us. We don't display that kind of affection. It was, well enlightening and encouraging. A knock at the door, brought another changing moment. It is all good.
Change is Constant
So yesterday my sister told me she is moving to Arizona. That is great for her because my other sister and mom and cousins live there. It is sad for me as it is my last immediate family member (besides my nephew) to leave Chicago. I am happy for her because this is what she wants. But it has brought all kinds of mixed emotions about change, not having family around, feeling abandon in some weird way.
I mean it is nice to be able to call your sister up and say "hey meet me for coffee" or "you want to go shopping" or "come on over I'll make dinner". Just knowing there is someone there who has a history with you. No one can take the place of your family. I mean we all have good friends that are wonderful. I don't know if this is just me or if other people do feel this way. But I like knowing my family lives in the same state. Of course they are all in closer proximity when we are in California. But it is a loss and an ending of an era to me.
Initially I wanted to curl up and stay in bad and have a pity party today. But of course my dogs won't let me do that and neither will my husband. Actually it is a perfect day for a pity party, overcast, looks like it will rain...a great day to stick your head under the covers.
But instead, I'll probably clean out a kitchen cabinet and get rid of all those bad carbs I have loaded up on this week for some unknown reason. The half bag of doritos, chips, and chocolated covered pretzels need to go bye bye. I would rather have them go than my sister.
I mean it is nice to be able to call your sister up and say "hey meet me for coffee" or "you want to go shopping" or "come on over I'll make dinner". Just knowing there is someone there who has a history with you. No one can take the place of your family. I mean we all have good friends that are wonderful. I don't know if this is just me or if other people do feel this way. But I like knowing my family lives in the same state. Of course they are all in closer proximity when we are in California. But it is a loss and an ending of an era to me.
Initially I wanted to curl up and stay in bad and have a pity party today. But of course my dogs won't let me do that and neither will my husband. Actually it is a perfect day for a pity party, overcast, looks like it will rain...a great day to stick your head under the covers.
But instead, I'll probably clean out a kitchen cabinet and get rid of all those bad carbs I have loaded up on this week for some unknown reason. The half bag of doritos, chips, and chocolated covered pretzels need to go bye bye. I would rather have them go than my sister.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Gracefully Gone
I have been letting go of a lot of old tapes and negative thinking this year.
Oh that little critter called doubt buts its ugly head once in awhile, but I have made an all out effort to stop, visualize removing the negative thought from my head and tossing it into the sky. Believe it or not it does help to do that. Because everytime you start to feel it come back you just say to yourself "sorry, there is no place for you anymore". Simple yes, effective..absolutely!
Oh that little critter called doubt buts its ugly head once in awhile, but I have made an all out effort to stop, visualize removing the negative thought from my head and tossing it into the sky. Believe it or not it does help to do that. Because everytime you start to feel it come back you just say to yourself "sorry, there is no place for you anymore". Simple yes, effective..absolutely!
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