Something a wise woman told me once. When talking with people we automatically assume they want our opinion when they express a problem they are working through
and seem to us to need help. This wise woman told me, "instead of giving your opinion, ask the person". Another words, say to the person "are you asking for my opinion", that gives you an opening to express yourself, to open the door to giving your opinion. Many time when people are telling a story about what is going in their lives they really don't want our opinion, they just want to tell their story. And often they get resentful if you start giving your opinion when it is not asked for.
I have been experimenting with this and it really helps open up communication with
people. Give it a try. It can't hurt! Have a great weekend.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Being a friend intimes of trouble
Another one of our friends has lost her job at the company my husband used to
work for. He left when the first round of packages were offered a few years ago. We were told it only gets worse and unfortunately it has. Now, more than ever it is important to be there for our friends in this position. These folks need encouragement, to know they are not alone and of course any contacts for future employment that all of us can come up with.
I cannot even imagine what the younger people must think of all this. But we oldsters must show them with support from friends and family, and the ability to reinvent yourself makes it possible to open a new door and leave the past behind. Praying for our dear friend and for all those who have lost their jobs in recent weeks, months and years. Praying that we can all reinvent ourselves and that this reinvention will bring new joy and hope and love in a career we can enjoy and not get bogged in what happened yesterday but look forward to today and all the great tomorrows that will happen as we change and grow and begin a new life.
work for. He left when the first round of packages were offered a few years ago. We were told it only gets worse and unfortunately it has. Now, more than ever it is important to be there for our friends in this position. These folks need encouragement, to know they are not alone and of course any contacts for future employment that all of us can come up with.
I cannot even imagine what the younger people must think of all this. But we oldsters must show them with support from friends and family, and the ability to reinvent yourself makes it possible to open a new door and leave the past behind. Praying for our dear friend and for all those who have lost their jobs in recent weeks, months and years. Praying that we can all reinvent ourselves and that this reinvention will bring new joy and hope and love in a career we can enjoy and not get bogged in what happened yesterday but look forward to today and all the great tomorrows that will happen as we change and grow and begin a new life.
My Favorite Things
Today is the day I start my journey giving up what I would call my favorite foods.
You know, the ones that are the "feel good" foods, pretzels, chocolate, crunchy saturated fat high carb foods. Oh and cheerios..Honey Nut to be exact because I pig out on those babies so easy. The dogs will miss them too. However I am keeping some of my favorite things like fruit. Beautiful apples, oranges, pinapple they are staying....
And I am keeping my carrots, don't take away my carrots or I'll go nuts. And no one but no one ask me out for icecream!!
You know, the ones that are the "feel good" foods, pretzels, chocolate, crunchy saturated fat high carb foods. Oh and cheerios..Honey Nut to be exact because I pig out on those babies so easy. The dogs will miss them too. However I am keeping some of my favorite things like fruit. Beautiful apples, oranges, pinapple they are staying....
And I am keeping my carrots, don't take away my carrots or I'll go nuts. And no one but no one ask me out for icecream!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A knock at the Door
Okay, I admit it I didn't clean out the kitchen cabinet and throw away the junk. But I know I will in the next 24 hours. I gave myself permission tohave one day of pity party moments. Like looking at the stuff on the counter in the kitchen and instead of being my neurotic self and saying I need to clean that right now..I just walked away and said..he will be here in the morning and I will take care of it. One day of sloppiness makes me feel a little defiant for some reason...
So I curled up with a good book on the couch and some classic movies and fell asleep. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and it was my sister who is moving. She came over to see how I was doing because she knows I was sad about her leaving. This is big for us. Really big. For her to recognize my feelings and react. And something else happened. I never cry in front of her. I cried and told her I was going to miss her and she gave me a hug. It was a very poignant moment for both of us. We don't display that kind of affection. It was, well enlightening and encouraging. A knock at the door, brought another changing moment. It is all good.
So I curled up with a good book on the couch and some classic movies and fell asleep. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and it was my sister who is moving. She came over to see how I was doing because she knows I was sad about her leaving. This is big for us. Really big. For her to recognize my feelings and react. And something else happened. I never cry in front of her. I cried and told her I was going to miss her and she gave me a hug. It was a very poignant moment for both of us. We don't display that kind of affection. It was, well enlightening and encouraging. A knock at the door, brought another changing moment. It is all good.
Change is Constant
So yesterday my sister told me she is moving to Arizona. That is great for her because my other sister and mom and cousins live there. It is sad for me as it is my last immediate family member (besides my nephew) to leave Chicago. I am happy for her because this is what she wants. But it has brought all kinds of mixed emotions about change, not having family around, feeling abandon in some weird way.
I mean it is nice to be able to call your sister up and say "hey meet me for coffee" or "you want to go shopping" or "come on over I'll make dinner". Just knowing there is someone there who has a history with you. No one can take the place of your family. I mean we all have good friends that are wonderful. I don't know if this is just me or if other people do feel this way. But I like knowing my family lives in the same state. Of course they are all in closer proximity when we are in California. But it is a loss and an ending of an era to me.
Initially I wanted to curl up and stay in bad and have a pity party today. But of course my dogs won't let me do that and neither will my husband. Actually it is a perfect day for a pity party, overcast, looks like it will rain...a great day to stick your head under the covers.
But instead, I'll probably clean out a kitchen cabinet and get rid of all those bad carbs I have loaded up on this week for some unknown reason. The half bag of doritos, chips, and chocolated covered pretzels need to go bye bye. I would rather have them go than my sister.
I mean it is nice to be able to call your sister up and say "hey meet me for coffee" or "you want to go shopping" or "come on over I'll make dinner". Just knowing there is someone there who has a history with you. No one can take the place of your family. I mean we all have good friends that are wonderful. I don't know if this is just me or if other people do feel this way. But I like knowing my family lives in the same state. Of course they are all in closer proximity when we are in California. But it is a loss and an ending of an era to me.
Initially I wanted to curl up and stay in bad and have a pity party today. But of course my dogs won't let me do that and neither will my husband. Actually it is a perfect day for a pity party, overcast, looks like it will rain...a great day to stick your head under the covers.
But instead, I'll probably clean out a kitchen cabinet and get rid of all those bad carbs I have loaded up on this week for some unknown reason. The half bag of doritos, chips, and chocolated covered pretzels need to go bye bye. I would rather have them go than my sister.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Gracefully Gone
I have been letting go of a lot of old tapes and negative thinking this year.
Oh that little critter called doubt buts its ugly head once in awhile, but I have made an all out effort to stop, visualize removing the negative thought from my head and tossing it into the sky. Believe it or not it does help to do that. Because everytime you start to feel it come back you just say to yourself "sorry, there is no place for you anymore". Simple yes, effective..absolutely!
Oh that little critter called doubt buts its ugly head once in awhile, but I have made an all out effort to stop, visualize removing the negative thought from my head and tossing it into the sky. Believe it or not it does help to do that. Because everytime you start to feel it come back you just say to yourself "sorry, there is no place for you anymore". Simple yes, effective..absolutely!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Keeping a food Journal
I guess my trainer is right, as always. Got to keep a food journal. I have been working out everyday yet I put on l.5 pounds. What is that all about? Has to be the food. It is very frustrating because I feel like I am eating clean but obviously the scale doesn't lie and feeling like you are eating clean and writing down what you put it your mouth are probably, well are two different things. I just hate keeping a food journal, it is just another rule in my life. But some rules are meant to be followed for you own good. So I shall do it. Under sheer protest from my taste buds and cheater side of my personality that doesn't like to be held accountable. So enjoy the ride, let us see where it takes me!
Dreams that Reoccur
I have these dreams that reoccur over the years. My Dad owned a grocery store in Marina City Towers in downtown Chicago back in the 60's and 70's. At the time it was quite a unique concept, small commissaries as the called them for tenants in the building. There were 3 registers, one never worked, the other two were so old kids today we have no clue how to use them. They had the big fat numbers you had to press and the hit the, well they would call it and enter but but it was a big bar to actually get the price to get added on. Sort of like a huge adding machine. There were no bar costs, just prices.
In my dreams there would always be long lines of people and either I could not find a price on the product or I would go to hit the numbers like $9.49 and the number would not click down. In the dream I was always looking for someone to help me fix the register, the customers were getting impatient and the harder I tried the more jammed the machine would get. People in the dream either started walking out just taking there groceries or leaving them on the counter. The dream was so distressful I would wake up in a panic attack. Well I had one this morning and it woke me up at like 5:00 a.m. What brings it on is something I would love to know. What it means is another.
There is a small office and the door is either opened or closed and I keep looking for Dad to get hm to help. Sometimes the office is empty, and a mess so I want to rush over and clean it at the same time so he will be proud when he gets back. At other times, when the door is closed I keep pounding trying to get him to come out and help. I feel very incompetent in the dream. I try to keep my calm but as i start to awake I can feel the stress in my body from the dream. So my question is what is the interpretation here? I would love to know.
In my dreams there would always be long lines of people and either I could not find a price on the product or I would go to hit the numbers like $9.49 and the number would not click down. In the dream I was always looking for someone to help me fix the register, the customers were getting impatient and the harder I tried the more jammed the machine would get. People in the dream either started walking out just taking there groceries or leaving them on the counter. The dream was so distressful I would wake up in a panic attack. Well I had one this morning and it woke me up at like 5:00 a.m. What brings it on is something I would love to know. What it means is another.
There is a small office and the door is either opened or closed and I keep looking for Dad to get hm to help. Sometimes the office is empty, and a mess so I want to rush over and clean it at the same time so he will be proud when he gets back. At other times, when the door is closed I keep pounding trying to get him to come out and help. I feel very incompetent in the dream. I try to keep my calm but as i start to awake I can feel the stress in my body from the dream. So my question is what is the interpretation here? I would love to know.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
60 minutes
So between walking the dog and my 45 minutes walk in encinitas I figured I did 60 min. Really was tired today but pushed through it with a little bit of aches. Wasn't hungry earlier but I haven't given up the salsa and chips which i know is coming...I had eaten pretty good all day and as I noticed when I get tired I want to eat...usually something salty. I have been chugging the water b ut was hoping to get through with no chips tonight.
The answer of course is to get them out of the house. period. I can't use the excuse "for company" anymore. This is the new me. For My Health, Company Can eat what I eat....but I am always so concerned because so many people don't like this and don't like that...I have always been the house where you can go and be taking care of how do I give that up if I don't have food for everyone? An issue for the therapist for sure!
The answer of course is to get them out of the house. period. I can't use the excuse "for company" anymore. This is the new me. For My Health, Company Can eat what I eat....but I am always so concerned because so many people don't like this and don't like that...I have always been the house where you can go and be taking care of how do I give that up if I don't have food for everyone? An issue for the therapist for sure!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Old and New Friendships
This is a very interesting time in my life, and I'm sure for many of the babyboomers and others who are connecting with old friends due to social networks. Tonight I went to dinner with a new friend and we had such a great time. I thought I was past the point of developing these kinds of relationships with women at my age. But do to the overwhelming and insane ability I have of talking to strangers I connected to Kathy a wonderful friend who has opened me up to many new experiences and brought such joy to much life.
As I was laughing with Kathy and her husband tonight at dinner I had flashbacks to other times I have just enjoyed peoples company and little blips have been coming to me since I got back from dinner of some of these great relationships.
A friend Trish, who I went to highschool with and I reconnected on facebook. Everyone should have a friend like Trish. She says it like it is. You may not want to hear it but she says it for your own good. It was refreshing then and still is now. After 35 some odd years she can still say it to me and I smile and say thinks for the honesty. Which brings me to why I realize I like my new friend Kathy so much. She has that same ability to say it how it is.
And then there is my new friend Kim. A true women who can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. She inspires and exhausts me. She has limitless energy and still has kids at home. And has boundless creativity. And therein lies what is so special about her. I see the creativity bouncing off her like high voltage energy and it astounds me. And inspires me.
As I was laughing with Kathy and her husband tonight at dinner I had flashbacks to other times I have just enjoyed peoples company and little blips have been coming to me since I got back from dinner of some of these great relationships.
A friend Trish, who I went to highschool with and I reconnected on facebook. Everyone should have a friend like Trish. She says it like it is. You may not want to hear it but she says it for your own good. It was refreshing then and still is now. After 35 some odd years she can still say it to me and I smile and say thinks for the honesty. Which brings me to why I realize I like my new friend Kathy so much. She has that same ability to say it how it is.
And then there is my new friend Kim. A true women who can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. She inspires and exhausts me. She has limitless energy and still has kids at home. And has boundless creativity. And therein lies what is so special about her. I see the creativity bouncing off her like high voltage energy and it astounds me. And inspires me.
The Basics
Afternoon:
Well today I met with my trainer Cindy. A lovely woman who is about my age and as big as a minute. We are the same height..except I have about 75 pounds okay maybe 80 on her. She was surprised at how flexible I was and said I need to do cardio for 90 minutes day, it could be 3 l/2 hour sessions or divide it up into 2 45 minutes, etc. Now I need to go over and get myself weighed to see my starting weight. Oy ..and vey....
We did some basic reps of arms and leg stuff. Not bad, a bit on the stepper, not bad..But I feel it already. Okay I won't be a baby. But I think this ultimate challenge involves change, which is a good thing, but not ALWAYS an easy thing. Pray for me darlings. I could use all your prayers and support.
Give me 20 reps, on the floor, now...lololol kidding she is not like that... L
Well today I met with my trainer Cindy. A lovely woman who is about my age and as big as a minute. We are the same height..except I have about 75 pounds okay maybe 80 on her. She was surprised at how flexible I was and said I need to do cardio for 90 minutes day, it could be 3 l/2 hour sessions or divide it up into 2 45 minutes, etc. Now I need to go over and get myself weighed to see my starting weight. Oy ..and vey....
We did some basic reps of arms and leg stuff. Not bad, a bit on the stepper, not bad..But I feel it already. Okay I won't be a baby. But I think this ultimate challenge involves change, which is a good thing, but not ALWAYS an easy thing. Pray for me darlings. I could use all your prayers and support.
Give me 20 reps, on the floor, now...lololol kidding she is not like that... L
Workout Begins
Its not exactly the Biggest Loser, but I am going to try and do the "training gig". Today is my first day meeting with my trainer Cindy. Let's see if I can kick it up a notch or 50.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)